05 March, 2013

Battle of the wills

One of the hardest parts of a weight loss journey is the battle you wage with your mind. It is this battle, how prepared you are for it and whether you have a strategy or not that dictates how successful you are. This is how it has been for me, a woman who at 178cm was 139.9kgs - probably in the morbidly obese range.

I don't know if it is the same for people who have less to lose, but I know from conversations with the 12WBTers in the 30+ to lose group that this is the biggest challenge we face.

Our mind tries to convince us that we are happy the way we are...why bother with exercise and depriving the body with the things it craves. It's that little voice when you are running on the treadmill that says 'I can't do it, I won't be able to run for 5 minutes, stop now, my legs hurt, my feet hurt, stop, stop, stop'......Every day I face that voice. This round I'm doing the advanced lean and fit program and in seven weeks I have increased the time I run on the treadmill from 3 minutes to 10 minutes. A huge success for me! But EVERY day is about my mental strategy when I get on to that treadmill.

I focus on the first 2 minutes. Once I get there and the little voice starts nagging me, I play the game. 'Just another minute' I tell the voice. Then at 2 minutes that voice starts telling me that 'I'm not up to it today' or 'it hurts too much'. So I concentrate on each minute. I tell "the voice" 'Its ok I'll stop at 5 mins'. When I get to 5 minutes I just keep focusing on that next minute. Before I know it I'm to 9 minutes and by this stage I KNOW that I can make it to 10 minutes. Next goal - 15 mins.

I have not won the battle with that doubting voice. I have 34 years of listening to that voice rather than rejecting it's view of my life and what I can achieve. I will get there, I will get to a place where that voice controls me less and my will power is stronger!!! I just have to keep fighting and keep the reinforcements coming!!

04 March, 2013

Week 3 - wrap up

It amazes me how quickly the weeks go!! Must be something to do with how busy I am!!

Week 3 came and went and I've done fairly well - I hope.

This week I:

  • Went to the gym before work each day
  • Ate well
  • Smashed out an awesome SSS (super saturday session) with my new mate Hayley
  • Successfully ran on a tready for 5 minutes!!!! Jaw dropping stuff for me!!
And tomorrow I will see if my hard work paid off.

Tomorrow - Wednesday - is weigh in day and I'm excited to see how I have gone. I'm very proud that after the flash flooding event during which I consumed excessive amounts of wine, dip and biscuits did NOT derail me at all. Very proud....

I'll be back to report tomorrow night and with a better post.


03 March, 2013

24/2/13 - week 2 wrap up

What a slacker I've been.

Well in blogging land anyway.

This week I:

  • worked out EVERY day before work, then did the SSS with Mandy and Jess on Saturday.
  • kept my calorie count in control
  • and I lost 2.2kgs!!!

And then Saturday hit....OMG.

I take complete responsibility.

We were at the Nelson's when the wild weather hit and the anxiety from having been in similar situation in the Roma floods and the loss of a beautiful woman in last February's flood had what can only be discribed as a post-traumatic-stress type reaction. Unfortunately despite all my hard hard work, my default setting is still to fill that emotional pit with food. So I drank four glasses of wine, at rice crackers and dip. Admittedly the boys helped eat the crackers and dip so I guess it could have been a lot worse, but it has made me realise that as long as I'm in control its all good.

As soon as there is a situation I can't control with strong emotion (negative) attached I still default back to my emotional eating habits of the past.

So what to do?

I am not sure, but I sure as hell am not giving up. No fricking way!!! I think I just need to have a plan in place for next time, because there will be a next time. Another situation in which I automatically revert to that old behaviour. I'm not sure what I'll do to try and head off this situation next time, but i'm thinking I need some affirmation/Mish sayings on cards for in my wallet or something like that. Something easy to carry on me at all times that in times when I need a swift kick or reminder that 'Hey, that's not who you are anymore Em, you are NOT going to eat that'.

Whatever I decide I need to do it soon, because while I am not giving up, the situation did shake me. I just couldn't believe I was still capable of such mindless eating.

So I'll see it as a learning experience and move on. And keep on JFDI-ing!!

16/2/13 - Super Saturday Session Week 1

I am so excited to have a group of fabulous girls to do this round with!!! It's like an answered prayer!

This morning I drove out to Sandy Hollow to the lovely Mandy's for our SSS. It was her first ever and she completely kicked ass!!!! She did the beginners program and I did intermediate. I know, I know, I was supposed to do Advanced but she had already mapped out the 300m run and I really couldn't see myself running 400m so many times.

This workout was a hard-core arms workout and we sweated and grunted our way through it.

Before the workout!

After the workout...bit sweaty I am...
By the time we did the whole workout, I had burned about 600cals and Mandy was closer to 400cals so we decided to walk up and down her driveway which is probably 4-500m a couple of times. By the end I had burned 822cals and Mandy had burned a little over 600cals. Not bad at all!!!

Ready for our walk up and down the driveway with the kids.
When I got home, I vaccumed and did some mowing and burned another 575cals.
I'm really proud of both of us. Doing the workout together made it so much more fun and we encouraged each other the whole time.
So happy :)

15/2/13 - Goal Setting

Another reposted post from my now deleted Weight Loss blog.... Gotta get you all up to speed!!!

I find this part of the preseason tasks really hard.

I know what I want to achieve, but I know that setting unrealistic, unachievable goals can do serious damage when you don't achieve them. I'm sure you have all heard of SMART goals...I have in my work life as well as through 12WBT.

In essence a S.M.A.R.T goal is:
  • Specific: What exactly is your goal? To feel healthy is not specific. To Lose 2kg in a month is.
  • Measureable: Make sure you can measure your improvements along the way. For example you might have body shape measurements such as weight and blood pressure, or performance measurements such as running 4km without stopping.
  • Achievable: Is it actually possible to achieve your goal? In your heart you need to believe that you can actually get there.
  • Realistic: This is one notch higher than achievable. It might be possible for you to run a marathon (with the right amount of training) but is it realistic given your lifestyle factors?
  • Time Based: You need to set your goals against a timeframe.
With that in mind, here are my goals for this round.

  • To do every workout with enthusiasm and committment.
  • To develop a support network in my local area and be more active on support sites on FB and 12WBT forums.
  • To stick to the food plan like glue!
  • To lose on average 1kg per week during the challenge and get to double digits or as close as possible.
  • To increase the length of time I can jog at a consistent pace...currently 3mins - aiming for 5 mins first.
  • To be positive and kind to myself but allowing no excuses.
  • To keep focussed on my goals
  • To get into the size 16 skirt Marko bought me at the markets when we were first dating...I have NEVER been able to wear it as it has always been too small.
My goals for 2013:
  • To lose 20-30kgs.
  • To be able to run the whole time trial without stopping.
  • To document the journey.
  • To try new things and meet new like minded people.
  • To grow as much of our own organic produce as possible.
I'm anticipating needing to review these goals fairly regularly, so I'll commit to evaluating and adjusting at the milestone weeks 4, 8 and 12 through the round.

14/2/13 - Fitness test

A vital part of preparing for a round of the Michelle Bridges 12WBT is the series of preseason tasks. Each one is really important and I plan to go back and talk about some of the other tasks, but the one I want to focus on today is the fitness test.

Obviously with when trying to track ones progress, there needs to be a baseline or a starting point, and so we do a series of measurements and a fitness test to determine which program would suit us best. When I did my first round I started on the beginner program and then swapped to the intermediate somewhere in the middle. Because I had been going to gym classes for over a year, my fitness level was quite good and I quickly needed to be challenged.

In round 3 I still felt challenged and in round 4 (as I've already stated) I completely lost the plot. So you can imagine my utter surprise, horror even, when as I tallied up my results from the fitness test I realised that I needed to move up a level into the Advanced Lean and Fit program. Before deciding for real I did seek some advice. The only area in which I'm not in the advanced category is in the running - the time trial. I'm so proud of my improvements though. When I started I could only jog for 30 seconds then I needed a big rest. I can now jog faster and for 3 mins...on a treadmill but hey that is still a huge improvement.

The advice I recieved was to go with the Advanced Lean and Fit and just do interval running instead of the 15 min steady jogs.

Soooo....today I did my FIRST lean and fit workout. O M G it was tough but it made me realise that I hadn't been expecting enough of myself. I really really miss my workout buddies in Roma. Liz and Meagan would have kicked my ass long ago and told me to move up a program rather than just cruising....but no longer!!

This round is mine!

I will lose 10 kgs minimum.....13 would be THE BEST because that would put me in double digits.

SO its game on!


Today began like my days have for the past two weeks, alarm went off at 4:30 - got up and dressed in my gym gear, drank the awful concoction the naturopath has me drinking, took my vitamins and by 5am I was in the car and on my way to Singleton to the Gym and Swim. Did my day one workout and burned through 469cals in 57mins.

Not bad if I do say so myself.

I really feel like I fell off the wagon big time last round. I made bad choices consistently and just didn't pick myself up and give myself a stern talking to, until two weeks ago. Then I joined the gym in Singleton and started going in the mornings before work. I've lost most of what I put on in my failed attempt...no lets be honest....I really didn't even try in Round 4. My most successful was round 2 in 2012 when I surrounded myself with a BRILLIANT bunch in Roma Qld. We all did it together, encouraged each other and supported each other and I've been a bit lost without their support. I've tried to link up with others here but have found it difficult living so far out of town.

this round will be different though. This round I have Jess, Mandy and we are adopting Hayley too. It's Mandy's first round, I think it might be Hayley's second and it's Jess' third. Hopefully together we will be an unstoppable force of positive energy to support each other. I really can't emphasis how much the positive energy of those around you influences your desire to succeed. It really does.

~ My 12WBT peeps from Roma, Qld ~ 

Looking at this picture it's hit home how much I miss working out with these girls. I really can't wait to get started with our little local group.

I was looking for a quote to sum up what I was saying before about the need for a supportive foundation, like a building, in your friends and workout mates but I found this instead.

I love this and it is so true. And with a supportive group they will make coping with the hurt, making the time, developing that will power muscle Mish talks about, making the decisions, the sacrifices and being dedicated enough to resist the temptations easier. That's what a supportive group does. Don't get me wrong, they also push you until you think you'll scream at them to leave you alone, until you do it and you get that beaming knowing smile from them - that is true support and friendship. If you don't have a supportive network, get out there and find one...build it yourself. Find one like minded person in your town and you will start to attract others to you.

Now that I've raved about support, support, SUPPORT, I thought I should post the before pics I took today!

I wore my tightest exercise gear to show exactly what was being covered up!! Can't wait to see the changes in 12 weeks, cause this round is MY ROUND!!!

Consolidating 2 blogs into 1

I had thought that I could manage to run two blogs at once....silly me. I struggle to keep even 1 upt to date. So I'm copying the posts I put in my 'Weight Loss Blog' into this one....I mean really...this blog is about my life and this is how I'm changing it!!!

Tonight is the eve of my fourth round of the Michelle Bridges 12WBT and I have decided to dedicate this blog to my progress. Let me give you a short history of me.

I'm 34, a teacher, happily married and have been overweight (up and down) all my life. In 2010 I maxed out at 139.9kgs and took my life in my hands and started losing weight. I read an amazing book which is where the title for my blog came from, lost 7 kgs, tried another weight loss method and lost another 5 kgs, then joined Mish and have lost a further 20kgs.

Worth celebrating? Hell yes!!


End 2012
My last round didn't go exactly as I planned so this round I'm back on the wagon and I'm determined to get to double digits!! I'm currently 112kgs so I have to lose 13 to get into the DD's in 12 weeks. And I'm going to keep track here and in my Project Life!
For those of you joining me in this journey, I may not blog every day, but I will try to. Lets do it!!