Summer school has been and gone, my darling friend has left town so the frenzied cleaning stopped and the first week of school has been and gone. The thought of going back to school this term has filled me with dread all holidays. I know I should be grateful for the wonderful holidays a teacher gets, but to be honest last year took more out of me than any teaching year before it. I guess DH having hurt his arm (tore his bicep tendon off the bone) in the middle of report writing didn't help. I guess my point is that I was starting to think I wouldn't cope with going back. And here I am, a week in, coping very well. My workload is halved from last year (we have two full time teachers working the case load) and although I have a mentoring role this year I can feel my concern and stress easing. I know though that it won't be long before I'm looking for a change/break short or long term I don't know. I know exactly what sort of break I want - the maternity type break.
On that front, I got DH to the dr to check up on how things were going. He had a vesectomy reversal 12 mths ago and I wanted to make sure that it had worked. So the dr said if you don't hear from me everything is good, but if you do hear from me don't panick. Well we heard from him and have another appointment tomorrow...am I panicked...yes YES I AM! I know I just need to believe - the catch cry of my darling friend at the moment and I am trying but I'm worried. I want babies SO MUCH!
So school, yes it is going well. Would I rather be a SAHM? Hell yeah, but I guess I need to keep waiting and believing my turn will come. In the meantime the pain of others falling pregnant easily and being around little babies comes and goes. Believe me I'm happy for the lovely people I know who totally deserve to be happy and have their babies...but there are times where that green monster overwhelms me and I find it a tad difficult. At the moment I'm in a good patch where I am enjoying the babies in my life and we'll see what the dr says tomorrow.