I almost don't know where to start in updating my blog.. Initially I was caught up in the usual end of term craziness. I was completely over my students and completely over being at school. I was tired, stressed and cranky - with 3 weeks of term left to go. Each time I felt I should blog I had nothing nice to say. Lovely huh. So I avoided the computer, started testing and writing reports.
Then, unexpectely the floor fell out from underneath us. I received a phone call at school from a hospital in Brisbane. I wrongly assumed it was a call from a paediatritian I had been waiting to hear from about some missing student reports.
It wasn't the paediatrian.
It was a hospital administration staff person, with my brother-in-law Steve on hold for me. It was one of those situations when I knew I had to sit down or I would fall down. I knew it couldn't be something wrong with Marko, my husband, as he was here at work. It left very few alternatives. Marko's mother had fallen down a flight of external stairs of a high set (two story) house. He could barely get the words out, and within minutes I was almost hysterical. I established the facts: she was in a Brisbane hospital, he had not contacted Marko, she was in a coma and she was not going to survive long. I left my students with a teacher aide, unable to stop the tears, and raced to the office in search of someone to notify that I needed to leave the school grounds. My head of campus, a beautiful woman, drove me to Marko's work where I had to tell him what had happened. It was awful.
We left for Brisbane an hour later but only got as far as Toowoomba (4 out of the 5 1/2 hours we had to travel) before we received a phone call telling us Mama had passed. We both sat there stuck in traffic, crying. We finally made it to Brisbane and went to the hospital. There we met up with family and Marko had his chance to say goodbye. I think he thought she would miraculously wake up out of her coma had we made it in time.
For the next week I was here in Roma alone trying to finish my reports, while Marko stayed with his brother Steve making the arrangements, then the next weekend in Toowoomba with the family. When we finally got home we were so exhausted. I had another week of school to try to get through.
My first few days of holidays were spent selfishly. I lost myself in some books I'd saved for the holidays, and spent some time with my friend Lisa and her new baby boy.
This weekend just gone was just the medicine I needed. I spent two nights and three days in Toowoomba scrapbooking with some of my girlfriends. I didn't get anywhere near as many layouts done as they did, but I'm really pleased with each one!
I feel refreshed and almost myself again. Men are strange creatures. Mine doesn't talk much about what is going on in his head and it is a battle to get him to talk to me about how he is feeling. I worry that he is not handling his grief and that he is not sharing it with me. I know everyone deals with these things differently, but I do worry about him. I guess the best I can do is be here and love him.